I am officially back to work. And Paxton has officially “woken up” from the sleepy newborn phase. And the big kids are home for the summer. All this means that I have little (read: no) time for myself. I haven’t shot anything for myself in weeks. I see moments happen throughout the day but I am rocking a crying baby or folding laundry or picking up the dishes or rocking the baby again. It is a constant cycle. This chapter of motherhood is hard. My brain is ready to put time and energy back into this art that I love so much. But there is just not enough time in the day. I know that it won’t always be this way. I know that eventually the baby will settle into a schedule and have regular naps. I know the big kids will be in school soon. I know that this phase will end. And I know that when this phase ends I will certainly miss it. But right now it is hard.
I am trying to embrace the season I am in. Be thankful for the little people who love me so much that they need to be near me every second of the day. I am trying to pace myself this summer knowing that this fall we will be in full swing with school and busy photography season and I will probably be near insanity. But still, it is hard. I love photography. I love seeing a moment and being able to freeze it forever with an image. I love working with clients and telling their stories with my camera. I love it all so much. But now is not the time to be super busy. Now is not the time to be super creative. Now is the time to love on my new baby and grow our bond more every day. Now is time to enjoy my big kids while I have them all day because this fall I will miss them so much. Now is the time for my family.
Yesterday afternoon I watched something unfold. It was right after the baby woke up from a long nap. As I was changing his diaper he was super smiley and chatty. I called the big kids in from the other room so they could be apart of the happy baby goodness. They hoped up on the bed where the baby was laying and started chatting and playing with him. The baby would watch them intently and give them the biggest grin. It completely melted my heart.
Realizing that in this small moment everyone was happy and my hands were free, I ran for my camera. I came back in the room to witness my big kids completely delirious. They had lost their marbles. Everything was knock-down-fall-over hilarious to them. Which of course gave me the giggles. They started singing silly songs to the baby. And then the baby would grin at them and they would die with laughter. And so it continued for almost 30 minutes. I watched and snapped away. I wasn’t concerned with capturing anything perfect instead I wanted to capture this moment in a very raw way. I was shooting everything I saw. Watching this precious moment unfold. Grinning from ear-to-ear watching my big kids delight so much in their baby brother’s smile. These images are not perfect. The focus is off on many of them. People are partially cut out of the frame. The lighting isn’t consistent. But I don’t care. This is why I love photography. I was able to freeze this silly afternoon with my lens. I will always have these images to look back on and remember this happy moment. (And if I am honest, I love the imperfection of these images. They tell the story and if they were “perfect” I probably would not love them as much).
Anyways, here is a glimpse of my three loves with a major case of the afternoon giggles:)
Image may be NSFW.
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Image may be NSFW.
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Image may be NSFW.
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Image may be NSFW.
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Image may be NSFW.
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Image may be NSFW.
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Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.